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Showing posts from December, 2016

The Roller Coaster of Christmas

The Christmas season this year was the most difficult I've experienced to date. On November 15th I decided I would get a head start on the things that needed to be done, so that when we got closer to Christmas and grief would possibly get magnified, the bigger things would be done.
I had dreams of having people over to our place every Friday of advent. I had dreams of having meaningful quiet time, reflecting on the most spectacular gift we have the opportunity to receive. I had dreams of delivering baked platters to the neighbours. We didn't have people over once. It was just too much for me this year. My quiet time didn't happen. Any reflections on advent were done with Olivia before she went to bed...at an age 4 level. Only Jason's co-workers and employees got platters this year. My Christmas gumption was missing this year. Part of it was grief. Part of it was illness after illness all season.
So, when the week before Christmas came, I was dreading the three days of…

When We Sit Upon His Knee

Olivia asked if she could visit Santa, so off we went and stood and waited in that long crazy holiday line. She didn't once complain. We thought she would back out at the last moment and change her mind, because that's often what new situations do to her, but she didn't. She ran up to Santa and gave him the biggest hug. She wouldn't let go. Then she climbed on his knee and they quietly and intently had the longest conversation. What was said, I do not know, but it was the sweetest thing I've ever seen. The innocent trust and belief that shone in her eyes. Incredible. 
It brought tears to my eyes and I whispered to J, "Mikail never got to sit on Santa's knee"
Then it hit me.  That look of complete trust and innocence Olivia had when she sat on Santa's knee.  The quiet whispers and giggles.  The awe in her eyes. Mikail never got to sit on Santa's knee, but he's sitting on Jesus' knee and I am sure that the trust, innocence and awe in his eyes f…