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Showing posts from August, 2015


Lately I've been so impatient and angry.

I think it is anxiety and grief speaking.

It has to stop. Some may say that I should just embrace it and let it run its course, but this time I think it just needs to stop. Why?

Because yesterday in one of many moments of impatience and inner anger, Olivia told Jason: 'Mommy's angry because she misses Mikail sooooooo much."

Break my heart.

My anger and impatience comes across in the delivery of my words. Not the words themselves, but the tone. Olivia, at the age of three gets this. I wish she wouldn't, but she does. So, with tears flowing, I found her and told her I was so very sorry for sounding angry and that I would try to do better. Of course, as three year olds do, she forgave me in an instant and wrapped her sticky little arms around my neck and whispered 'I love you, Mama.'

Today, as I was driving and it was complete silence in the vehicle, I tried to figure out where my anger is coming from. Who's it rea…