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Showing posts from May, 2015


Sometimes there's so much to say that you are left with no words.

Questions without answers.

Wisdom sought, met with silence.

Exhaustion met with more expectations.

Responsibilities that can't be missed.

Sorrow followed by deeper sorrow.

All of these, heavy with thoughts and an aching heart, but no words justify what lies beneath. In these moments all I am left with is a weak whispered JESUS! The whispering of His name changes my perspective, soothes my heart, and comforts me. Rest for my weary, aching and troubled soul lie at the foundation of my sweet Jesus' name.

When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul. Psalm 94:19

Now is your time of grief, 
but I will see you again and you will rejoice,  and no one will take away your joy.  John 16:22

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,  for I am gentle and humble in heart,  and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28…

Wisdom, Knowledge & Understanding

In summers past I have sometimes joined or led an online Bible Study. This year I think I may go solo or maybe have an accountability partner or two (let me know if you're interested). BUT I just want to throw this out there because it's just too good not to share:

Courtney Joseph of Good Morning Girls and the author of Women Living Well (I was a part of this book launch team) is reading through the Bible online. In June/July she will be leading those who are interested through the Book of Proverbs. For the first time ever, Good Morning Girls has created a neat journal to help guide us through this study. The journal is not needed, but I ordered it since it looks amazing and I'd love to support this amazing women's ministry.

The link explaining the study is HERE on the Women Living Well blog. 

Doesn't the journal look fun?

It can be ordered from AMAZON. (To my Canadian friends, order it now to get it in time for the June 15th start. It's not available at amazo…

The Pool of Grief

“Truly, I say to you,  unless you turn and become like children,  you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  Whoever humbles himself like this child  is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3
Imagine grief as a swimming pool. When it comes to grief, children walk up to the shallow end of the pool of grief and carefully dip their toes into the water for a moment and then run off to play. Adults run to the deep end of the pool of grief, dive in, and don't come up for weeks, months and sometimes years.
I've witnessed this myself in the way Olivia grieves. It comes in spurts and as quickly as it comes, it goes. I envy her, really. It seems much healthier than the deep end of this pool of grief. But I'm learning to take my own moments of reprieve from the pain. For me it is reading (or right now catching up on Season 4 of Downton Abbey on Netflix). I get to leave my grief for a few moments of time and rest my heart, mind and soul.
I love the way children j…

Olivia Clara

May 11, 2012.

A day forever in my memory.

It was the day Olivia Clara joined our family.  She came into the world with a scream that lasted for months after. Olivia, your spirited character has blessed us with much laughter, many sleepless nights (thank you for starting to sleep through the night at almost age 3), tears, and even more joy. Your love for talking, your expressive ways, your energy, and your love and compassion for others have carried us through--especially this 2015 year. You have been the light in our lives when we thought we'd never see the light again.

It was so special to celebrate your third birthday with family this year. Keep shining your light and your love for Jesus. People are drawn to you and God is using you in a mighty way already.

I miss your everything

Saturday would have been Mikail's 5th Birthday! What does one do when their child who loved birthdays is celebrating his first birthday in heaven? We didn't know. So we did a few things. Some turned out to be meaningful, but most didn't. Most of it just hurt and was a 'going through the motions' type of day.

The most meaningful to me was the day after his birthday~Mother's Day~when I finally had a few minutes to take a birthday card and write my boy a birthday letter. We received a beautiful carved wooden box at his celebration of life and each year I will add another card/letter I will write to him. Jason's most meaningful moment was when he went out around midnight and went fishing by himself. It's interesting that the most meaningful moments for us were moments spent alone in reflection. The other moments, although difficult, were important too and were little bits of celebrating our boy.

I miss you. I miss your voice. I miss your smile. I miss you…


Processing the move into our new home with one key family member missing.
Processing through all the stuff that was his~and then deciding we aren't ready for that just yet.
Processing through the thoughts of Mikail's 5th birthday on Saturday.
Processing through Mother's Day on Sunday.
Processing through Olivia's Birthday on Monday and trying our best to remember to celebrate her day with joy unspeakable even though our hearts are bleeding.
Processing is exhausting, but necessary. As I have been processing, it has been quiet here in blog land, but once I've processed, I'll have much to share.