Today I wish for linear grief. A definitive beginning and end. Bulleted phases inbetween to check off when completed. I wish we all grieved the same and at the same pace. But we don't. Grief work is messy and unpredictable, ugly and lengthily. The terrain is bumpy with dead ends, u-turns, and traffic lights that send mixed up signals. People keep saying that we will get through this. When? How? I need to know. But there is only silence with a tinge of hope left. That hope is my lifeline.
In my distress I called upon The Lord, to my a God I cried for help.
Why, O Lord, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourselves in times of trouble?
Do not cast me off, do not forsake me, O God of my salvation.
Even David the Psalmist felt like this. There's some comfort in that. Knowing his Psalms of joy follow eventually.